Mother*Loaded: tales of an insta-Mom!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dance Baby Dance!??????

Okay so this weekend was DH's birthday and so that means that we had the perfect excuse and a willing Grandma forcing us back into the world of a social life...We don't visit this world very I don't count teacher conferences and cub scout meetings as real adult interaction...So it was a nice change of pace to go to a lovely dinner down town with a melting pot of friends in tow!!!

Dinner was great! We were full of social interaction, sake, and Japanese food by about 9 o'clock...when we then shockingly agreed (while yawning) that we should go see some friends play a gig at a joint down the road...Whew, dinner and music...We are really out now!!!! Well not exactly...Before we got in the door DH had already whispered to me that he didn't want to stay long...Man are we losers from the burbs or what!!!

I was more in a social mood and almost felt like I was on vacation...So, despite not being able to have more than one drink (it was not my birthday and we couldn't afford a cab if we wanted one all the way back to our neck of the woods)..I was excited to be somewhere where kids were not allowed!!!

I don't know if it was the one extra large sweet tea vodka(which is sinfully good by the way), or my being around other adult women who don't have kids for the first time in ages...But, it was as if this place and all the people in it were my scientific experiment and that it was my duty to observe and judge...Awful I know(forgive me)...It's a culture that I am not a part of very often and so it has become like being in a foreign country and not being able to take your eyes off the locals!

I danced enough to look like I belonged and sipped my cocktail slow enough so that I could escape at some point...It was what I think is probably the usual crowd and filled with a few people that I love...But the more that I watched the more I realized that maybe I shouldn't feel that sorry for my self any more...Don't get me wrong I miss having a consistent social life a lot, but watching some of these folks gave me such a great appreciation for the fact that I wouldn't be back out tomorrow searching for what ever feeling or partner that a lot of these people were so obviously searching for!!!

I know there were some more "observers" out there(most came in with me)...Ones that weren't searching for anything but a night out with friends and their significant other...But then there were "The Others"...

Just a few of my favorites...

The old hippie guy that was dressed like a modern age frat boy and probably at least in his fifties...poor old man...

The two suits...who you know were in their first real job working for the man, because they looked like they were twelve and dressed up for their cousin's wedding...feeling all fine and looking very goofy and over confident...entertainment for me!!!

Then there was your typical cougar...flopping her fake boobies in her top...that one that looks
like it fit when she was in her twenties...ewww!!! Now talk about sad...that is sad!!!

And then there was the icing on the cake...When I spotted this one I knew that I was happy that I lived at least a 30 minutes drive away...It was one of those where you do a double take and where as hard as you try you just can't stop staring and wondering...I was filled with sorrow, shame, and outrage for this girl all at the same time...I noticed her cleavage first...bursting out of her top as if she was lactating...

Oh wait a she lactating?..No, certainly it can't that what I think it is?.. Is that girl dancing all crazy in the front of stage left PREGNANT?..NO, certainly it can't be?..Okay, she could just be here every night and that's why she looks likes she's pregnant right?..

I watched her like a hawk scouring it's pray and I couldn't take my eyes off of this poor girl...she most certainly had more in her belly than a keg of beer and years worth of RedBull and vodkas...She was out and pregnant for sure...Not that I think you should be bedridden and stuck at home for your entire pregnancy...But this girl had no ring and was literally sweating like she was a fat ass who had danced for the first time in her life...She was even twirling her sweaty hair around like a rock star...I was so outraged and appalled that she was in this club filled with smoke and shaking her milk filled breast every where...She was dancing so hard that I swear she might have given this poor fetus shaken baby syndrome before it was even born...

I wanted to judge her and confront her for a second, but in the end I just felt sorry for her...She was probably out enjoying her last moments of freedom and praying she'll meet a man before she spits out the biggest "cock block"(please excuse my french, but I really couldn't think of a better term) of her life...poor girl...poor baby!!!

I never felt more happy to walk to the car and drive home with DH back to our Loserville neighborhood where I am constantly buried in housework and all things that involve kids...I was just happy to have a real home and man to take there with me!!!

I won't lie though...I am looking forward to collecting more data on my experiment in the near future!!!

Hope you had a great birthday honey!!!

yours truly,

Note to all those who pray...add sweaty pregnant girl to your list!!! Even if I was wrong and it was a beer gut, this girl desperately needs our prayers!!!

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