Mambo Sprouts...Another Eco-Mama 101 Lesson!!!

I don't know about how you ladies are doing during this economic down turn...But I do know that it can sure burst your small carbon foot print, "green", organic, earthy Mama bubble...And easily at that! We are just trying to do all we can to stay green and sustain our healthly organic appetites...and I have come real close to stoking up on some Hamburger Helper and Ramen Noodles...Okay I'm not quite that desperate yet, but I have altered my grocery list a bit and my technique too! I just thought I would share a few things with you that I think are really awesome...

I love Whole Foods...and it's a lustful and life long kind of love! I love everything about it...The experience of shopping there full of pride about all the additive free and nutritiously rich, from the earth foods for my family...The feeling of doing my part when i check out with my reusable green bags (with out having to tell the checkout lady be to not put my items in a plastic bag before putting them into my reusable bags...That seriously happened to me once at another store, and it wasn't that long ago either)... So needless to say my heart has been a little broken as our budget as gotten tighter and I have had to enjoy my grocery shopping a little less and to find ways to save a little more...all while trying to not sacrifice are more green lifestyle!!!

And so here is what I did...I went to three different groceries and I compared all of my organic items and what they cost...I was shocked to find out that most of my items, same brand even, cost less at Kroger than they do at Whole Foods..Yep you heard it ladies...cheaper organics at Kroger...There isn't as big of a variety, but the basics are there and cost us less. So now I go to Whole Foods once a month or so and stock up and indulge in the few things that I miss on a regular basis, and the rest of the time I take so much pride in how great we can eat now at regular old Kroger!..

The icing on the cake is that I discovered that you can apply online for the coupon book that they carry at Whole Foods...and Kroger has lots of those items too...It comes directly to my mailbox and get this...it is even in the form of a little book, so no cutting needed!!!

Here's the link so you can get it in your mailbox too, oh and there are printable coupons as well...Happy Organic shopping!!!

http://www.mambosprouts.com/

Mother Loaded!!!

P.S. My new favorite organic find is this "no stir"peanut butter...Look for the one that says "no stir" on the bottle...It is awesome and never needs a stir before it's ready to be spread!!!

A JERRY SPRINGER CHRISTMAS!!! Ho Ho Ho

There weren't really Ho's though, but seriously...It really was the strangest holiday that I have experienced thus far...I am a nut for this time of year and I really enjoy it with faith like a child...But this year it just wasn't in the cards...I was so happy for it to all be over!!!

It all started with my scrooge of a DH and snow balled from there...He was pisst for weeks that we were expected to do the CRAZY Christmas shuffle...That so many of you probably know all too well...I understand where he's coming from, really I do, but there just isn't a solution or alternative...With divorce running deep in both sides of this family we are destined to spread our selves thin this time of year!!!

So I tried to muster up enough positivity for all of us to carry us through...Oh and did i mention that the Monday before Christmas we went to the pediatrician and came home with strep throat for Scout and bronchitis and an ear infection for Pip!!! So I Thanked God that we had just enough time to get the antibiotics in our system, allowing us to not spread a little extra something along with our Christmas gifts!!!

We headed out for the first of our stops on Christmas Eve around 10am...fully prepared with snacks, water, and Pips inhaler for a long winters trip...Literally, as we were walking out to the truck Scout started to cough for about the first time since he had been sick...and I SWEAR to you that the child coughed every 5-10 seconds for the entire hour and half drive...Poor kid, I almost was mad at him it was so annoying...I have never been so happy to get out of a car in my life...and DH was eager to jump to the conclusion that he and Scout would probably need to go home and skip my family's party later that day!!! Big Shocker there, but I was so distraught from the constant 12 hacks a minute Christmas carol that I literally didn't care all that much!!! We ate, drank, and ripped through the wrapping, were spoiled with too much material wealth as usual, picked a lazer leveler kit in the exchange?, and managed to meet a new addition to the family (through a pregnancy-free shot gun wedding a few months back)...and that about sums it up!!!

Five hours after arriving, we were running late getting all our new loot loaded up and in the car for round two or our adventure...Thank God Scout had recovered enough to not miss out on the fun...We pulled up only about an hour and a half late to see one of my Aunts in a tissy with my Oma(German Grandma) in the cold-e-sac, and when I say "tissy" I mean she was enraged in a way that I have never seen her before...Turns out being late might have been a blessing in disguise because we missed the climactic 
ending beginning of the drama!!!

You see this was my Dad's first sober Christmas and we are all so proud of him and made the choice to show our respect by having a dry Christmas Eve...I guess my "lost" younger sister and her loser boyfriend didn't get the memo!!!  So, needless to say Auntie had some legitimate reasons for her rage...From what I gathered there were some words on the subject and it escalated from there!!! Well Auntie, with the kids in the car already, was off with out even a hello or a gift exchanged!!! I thought that it couldn't possibly get worse and...BOY was I wrong!!!

The drama continued from there and included the following...an awkward sober Dad feeling at the center of the drama..."lost" sister and loser boyfriend continuing to drink and make them selves at home with all uncle's beers...Opa (German Grandpa) has a kumbaya with loser boyfriend about showing respect...Loser, idiot boyfriend doesn't have a F***ING clue and continues to get intoxicated...Opa and Oma catch loser boyfriend grabbing a handful out of the fruit bowl and shoveling it down his throat and then with the entire ham hock in his hands while taking a bite...NO JOKE this really happened...as my good friend Iris always says, I couldn't make this shit up!!! Weird Weird Weird...and totally Jerry Springer...All we lacked was the trashy dirty slut of an ex-girlfriend!!! Thank God for that!!!

So then to top it all off, as if that weren't enough for a trashy TV version of a Christmas Eve...Right before we left, our sweet little cousin threw up every where and continued to do so for the next three days, exposing us to the stomach bug!!!

All in all the positive side was that all that drama made me extra grateful for our first Christmas spending the night at our new house and alone!!! I was so much more happy about the idea of getting up on Christmas morning and spending some intimate, drama-free time together as a family...

AND then about 45 minutes after waking the door bell rings and the saga continues...Grandpa got confused and thought he was expected on Christmas day when in fact we had invited him over for the 26th...

Whatever, at this point...WHAT THE F#^*@ EVER...

Took him with us to my Mom's for the day and then apologized when Grandma got to our house later that evening to find her unexpected ex-husband here as well...You win some and you lose some...

Hope your Christmas was more laid back than mine and if not...then take comfort in the fact that you are not alone...Better luck next year...It couldn't possibly be worse, Right???

Happy New Year to you all!!!!!

Gratefully,

ML (Mother*Loaded)

more more and more...there is always more!

Okay so life got in the way and that's my only excuse...but I have noticed a huge difference in my mental health in comparing my consistent blogging self with that of my occupied and don't have time to blog self...I think I need this shit?

I have been a mess lately...It could be that we are still  and again  sick in this house...WHAT THE HELL?..Or it could be partly due to the fact that we lost our sweet China Cat to a tragic accident in front of our house last week...Or maybe a million other reasons, but it hasn't gone unnoticed that I am feeling better already just from typing this silly little update!

So not only now have I  set a goal for working out and making a long over due dentist appointment, and to send those long over due wedding and house warming gifts...but now to blog regularly for my own sanity as well...

Man it takes a lot to keep this woman sane and not uber sensitive and from avoiding proper etiquette...all I can say is that I am sorry but please don't take offense...I mean I don't go to the dentist and I went to the gyno for the first time in literally almost 3 years recently, so your not the only one that I neglect...Not that it's an excuse!!!

It's ironic to me that at the core we are all trying to be..to "just be"...yet there are millions of other things that we are expected and striving to be so that we can be a proper and good person while we are trying to let go of all those details in order to just be...Interesting?

I apologize if I'm not making since...I am not in my right mind...haven't blogged in weeks and trying to let go of details in order to "be"...while feeling guilty for avoiding and denying other details that make me a "proper" person...

Oh life!!!

Mother Loaded

P.S. the new photo is an interpretive piece on what I feel like doing and look like most of the time that I am dreaming of escaping certain parts of my reality!!! (meaning...child wrangling, under wear folding, toilet scrubbing, and husband taming, etc...) (and today in particular...facing and trying to ignore the pit in my stomach from a grueling and mortifying public ego spanking that I am trying to recover from...ouch...I still feel like a child who's trying to not cry while being disciplined!)

Dance Baby Dance!??????

Okay so this weekend was DH's birthday and so that means that we had the perfect excuse and a willing Grandma forcing us back into the world of a social life...We don't visit this world very often...as I don't count teacher conferences and cub scout meetings as real adult interaction...So it was a nice change of pace to go to a lovely dinner down town with a melting pot of friends in tow!!!

Dinner was great! We were full of social interaction, sake, and Japanese food by about 9 o'clock...when we then shockingly agreed (while yawning) that we should go see some friends play a gig at a joint down the road...Whew, dinner and music...We are really out now!!!! Well not exactly...Before we got in the door DH had already whispered to me that he didn't want to stay long...Man are we losers from the burbs or what!!!

I was more in a social mood and almost felt like I was on vacation...So, despite not being able to have more than one drink (it was not my birthday and we couldn't afford a cab if we wanted one all the way back to our neck of the woods)..I was excited to be somewhere where kids were not allowed!!!

I don't know if it was the one extra large sweet tea vodka(which is sinfully good by the way), or my being around other adult women who don't have kids for the first time in ages...But, it was as if this place and all the people in it were my scientific experiment and that it was my duty to observe and judge...Awful I know(forgive me)...It's a culture that I am not a part of very often and so it has become like being in a foreign country and not being able to take your eyes off the locals!

I danced enough to look like I belonged and sipped my cocktail slow enough so that I could escape at some point...It was what I think is probably the usual crowd and filled with a few people that I love...But the more that I watched the more I realized that maybe I shouldn't feel that sorry for my self any more...Don't get me wrong I miss having a consistent social life a lot, but watching some of these folks gave me such a great appreciation for the fact that I wouldn't be back out tomorrow searching for what ever feeling or partner that a lot of these people were so obviously searching for!!!

I know there were some more "observers" out there(most came in with me)...Ones that weren't searching for anything but a night out with friends and their significant other...But then there were "The Others"...

Just a few of my favorites...

The old hippie guy that was dressed like a modern age frat boy and probably at least in his fifties...poor old man...

The two suits...who you know were in their first real job working for the man, because they looked like they were twelve and dressed up for their cousin's wedding...feeling all fine and looking very goofy and over confident...entertainment for me!!!

Then there was your typical cougar...flopping her fake boobies in her top...that one that looks
like it fit when she was in her twenties...ewww!!! Now talk about sad...that is sad!!!

And then there was the icing on the cake...When I spotted this one I knew that I was happy that I lived at least a 30 minutes drive away...It was one of those where you do a double take and where as hard as you try you just can't stop staring and wondering...I was filled with sorrow, shame, and outrage for this girl all at the same time...I noticed her cleavage first...bursting out of her top as if she was lactating...

Oh wait a second...is she lactating?..No, certainly it can't be...is that what I think it is?.. Is that girl dancing all crazy in the front of stage left PREGNANT?..NO, certainly it can't be?..Okay, she could just be here every night and that's why she looks likes she's pregnant right?..

I watched her like a hawk scouring it's pray and I couldn't take my eyes off of this poor girl...she most certainly had more in her belly than a keg of beer and years worth of RedBull and vodkas...She was out and pregnant for sure...Not that I think you should be bedridden and stuck at home for your entire pregnancy...But this girl had no ring and was literally sweating like she was a fat ass who had danced for the first time in her life...She was even twirling her sweaty hair around like a rock star...I was so outraged and appalled that she was in this club filled with smoke and shaking her milk filled breast every where...She was dancing so hard that I swear she might have given this poor fetus shaken baby syndrome before it was even born...

I wanted to judge her and confront her for a second, but in the end I just felt sorry for her...She was probably out enjoying her last moments of freedom and praying she'll meet a man before she spits out the biggest "cock block"(please excuse my french, but I really couldn't think of a better term) of her life...poor girl...poor baby!!!

I never felt more happy to walk to the car and drive home with DH back to our Loserville neighborhood where I am constantly buried in housework and all things that involve kids...I was just happy to have a real home and man to take there with me!!!

I won't lie though...I am looking forward to collecting more data on my experiment in the near future!!!

Hope you had a great birthday honey!!!

yours truly,
ML

Note to all those who pray...add sweaty pregnant girl to your list!!! Even if I was wrong and it was a beer gut, this girl desperately needs our prayers!!!

Milkin it for all it's worth!!!

It been eleven weeks since the start of school and we are on our third round of the effects of the germ pool...Scout and Pip are pretty healthy and I like to think that I have threatened them enough to know that they wash their hands the right way...even when they are hard at work filling their brains and collecting germs!!!

Thankfully this last one seems to be spreading faster, so it might not be a month before we're all on the mend!!! I have already threatened to send the kids to school dressed as surgeons, hair nets and shoe covers in all...maybe then we might get to spend a week without as much snot and hacking around here...Hey that would be a good way to boycott the "No Halloween Celebrating" at school...Don't be surprised if halloween comes early for this family...I still have some extra protective eye wear and such from Scout's science party last year (don't know what I was thinking!)

I feel like these bugs are milking me for all I'm worth and when DH is sick I feel like he's milking it for all it's(me) worth too!

I am done...Please God give us some peace...So I can get back to blogging and avoiding my housework...Wether than not having the energy to do it...Literally only having enough energy to load the dishes!!!

GOD please please please!!!

Paper Gowns, Stir-ups, and Lube...Bring it on Baby!!!!

I waited way to long for this damn Gyno appointment...Seriously almost two years(don't tell anyone)...I was feeling rather guilty and obtusely aware of the obvious neglect to my self!  But on a positive side it made me actually excited to be there this morning, if you could even imagine that...I felt a real since of accomplishment and like I was actually doing something for my self for a change...Pretty sad when going to the Gyno makes you feel like you are really treating your self!!!

Once I got over the embarrassment of my coochie check being overdue...I tried to sike myself up for the prick and the big plunge...The finger prick is just as difficult for me unfortunately...With out fail, as soon as the nurse picks it up I turn into a baby and can instantly feel my palms and pits start to sweat and my breathing increasingly more challenging!  

"DEEP BREATH...DEEP BREATH...Ok I'm ready...Wait not yet...I'm so sorry, I'll be ready in just a moment...I promise...Wait...Okay, I can do this...Okay....DEEP BREATH...One more second...DEEP BREATH...OK, Just do it..." 

Usually this back and forth ordeal takes me a few minutes if not 5 and  at times I have declined the iron test all together...But today it was like a minute and once again I was feeling so proud and accomplished!..The Nurse then proceeded to congratulate me for my 12lb weight lose since my last visit...I said to myself, "well it was 2 years ago and if I can recall, I was a little bit over my usual weight at the time...BUT I"LL TAKE IT!!!"...After that I was feeling fine...Chatted it up with the Doc and even asked after she was done..."Was that it? Your done?"...With this attitude I could see the Gyno everyday...okay maybe not, but after the crummy and foul day that I had yesterday...I clearly needed to be reminded that a great attitude changes everything...I just happened to be reminded through the most wonderful morning at the Gyno!!!

It does help just a bit, that I love my Gyno and that I hadn't seen her in a few and she always pretends to want to know about what's going on in my life...She even prescribed me meds for a sinus infection once...Too bad she can't just be my Primary Physician, Gyno, and Therapist all in one!  

Anyways...The rest of the day I continued to feel proud about everything I was doing and it was such an easy day...Man, I must have really needed this attitude adjustment...I have decided that I am going to be obtusely aware of my attitude for as long as I can...Because if the Gyno can make me feel that good...So can carpool, kitchen cleaning, and never ending laundry!!! I'm going to be so excited and so proud about all the mundane things that make up this life...It feels like deceit for a sec, but I can get over that, I think!  I mean I am always preaching to the brood (DH included) about having a positive attitude, might as well put my money where my mouth is...I thought I was leading by example, but apparently I was so unfocused on myself that I was lying to myself some of the time...NOT ANYMORE...Wish me luck!!!

The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy...The Dalai Lama

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same...Carlos Castaneda

Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be...Henry David Thoreau

Come Back Wine-O and Miss Tomboy!!!!!! My kids are bored and I need a drink!!!!!!!

I'm not one to feel sorry for my self, really...I have a feeling that it might look that way once my virtual journal here fills up...But really, I assure you that in all other areas of my life I am a half glass full kind of person...An Optimist! Lately about this one thing though...I must confess...I have been very negative!

Just a couple weeks ago we lost our neighbors...Our dear dear playmate, My wine drinking buddy and husband bashing partner in crime, and her hubby too I suppose!!!  "Miss Tomboy" was such a great playmate to my Scout and Pip!  She was like the balance between these two brothers!  We all shared everything...mac-n-cheese...Gas (sharing carpool duties)...Sanity keeping up with the kids in the back yard!  It was the most beautiful neighbor relationship and I am missing it terribly!!!

For you to understand why my torment over this loss is so great, you must know just how fated this union really was!  We moved here around 10 months ago and it was a devastating move for me and DH...We left behind our diverse progressive college town...for the far north isolation of the suburbs...This was extremely painful for us to do, even though we both knew we needed it and wanted it too...

I just knew that there weren't going to be any mamas my age with kids the boy's age...I knew I was going to be the outsider amongst all these traditional thirty and forty something moms...and low and behold...I bravely walk next door to ask about the bus schedule and I find "Wine-O."   It was so meant to be...She's was exactly that, a young hip mama of  a cute well mannered girl smack in between my boys...And Ironically enough there were a lot of similarities in our stories...They were a blended family too...She needed me as much as I needed her and we even pretty much agreed on how to rear our brood...It couldn't have been more meant to be!!!!

So, this is why I am just so beside myself about why I am now here and isolated once more...right when I got dependent on my once weekly husband bashing and my few times weekly happy hour, and nights here and there that I didn't have to cook alone...poof and their gone...

And I am here now wondering who will move next door...knowing very well that whom ever they are they just wont suffice! I'm praying every night that they won't be nearly as bad as the scary folks we already have on the other side!

I just want my Wine-O and Miss Tomboy back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I been missin you,

Mama L

Night Owl Vs. Early Bird

At night (or early morning) when I finally drag this tired ass to bed and lay my head...Initially I dream of one thing and one thing only. It's one of the things that I miss the most about my old life. And even after three years I am still struggling beyond belief with this issue. I am a natural night owl...I always have been! I remember as a child staying up late to clean my room...and I hate cleaning...and then cursing my Mom when she repeatedly tried to wake me the next morning! The night has always been my time...The hours of the day when I relax...finally feed myself, physically, spiritually, and mentally...and when I prefer to get things done!

I remember as a young nanny talking with mama's about how they transformed into their early bird selves! "after you have babies you just do it and it's fine," they would say...I used to always reply that "I hope the actually birthing changes you metaphysically because I am a night owl through and through," and their response was always something like "oh, it does honey don't you worry!"

In retrospect I now think that this is a load of crap!.. Either it really is a chemical balance change that happens after you give birth that I obviously missed out on since I adopted, or those broads were lying through their pearly teeth! Or maybe it's that I have become a bitter early bird because I haven't been able to give up my night owl!

Every early evening I tell my self that tonights the night...I'm going to be in bed by 11pm...and every morning with out fail I curse myself for not following through and for having to get up on 5 hours of sleep! I know that your all doing it out there and that's the one thing that gives me comfort...In addition to the fact that I am giving my boys a nutritious breakfast and a loving hug as their off to fill their brains!

but man...I MISS SLEEPING IN!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just sick over the loss of this dear dear friend!..And even though I know it's not coming back I just still can't let go of my night owl self! I have got to do something! I am dying to be like this one friend that I have who wakes in the morning to have time for herself before the start of the day! How do we transform ourselves in this way! I vow not to give up...I am swearing that tonight is the night I'll be in bed by 10:30 and tomorrow the morning I'll rise with a smile!

Until then I am holding out hope that when I do finally give up my body to the labor of child birth that this change will miraculously occur that will make me the most gracious early bird around!!!

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” Jon Hammond